Dean started off the day today by encouraging Cheeseheads to ignore the media, the polls, and the theory of evolution in order to "choose the strongest candidate to beat George W. Bush,", and in Dean's la-la land, that candidate is him. He ended the day by announcing that he will stay in the race even if he loses Wisconsin, admitting that this directly contradicts his previous statements.
Let me see if I can go through Dean's thought processes

• Gee everyone thinks I'm going to lose. I guess if I want to keep running I have to convince people to vote for me even though everyone thinks I'm going to get trounced.
  
• Wait, after I did that, they still think I'm going to lose. I'm screwed! Man, I like playing president. I don't want to go home. I don't want to! I want a take back! Take back, take back, I'm staying in the race

There's the Dean we know and love. Kinda crazy, out of touch with reality, and blinded by a primal desire for power.



Somewhere Terry McAuliffe's head is exploding.

Dean Begs for Votes in Wisconsin [AP]
Dean is Desperate to Stay in the Race [NYT]

Recently celebrities have been lending their clout to political issues and these endorsements have brought about amazing changes in the political landscape. For example, several weeks ago Michael Moore endorsed Clark and labeled Bush a deserter in one breath. It was endorsements like this that brought Clark's poll numbers to where they are today. Also, that deep thinker Drew Barrymore was designated a "Friend of the UN" last week. She made the UN look super-smart by saying things like "To be philanthropic is weirdly not as easy as you want it to be because the information and the resources aren't as available as they should be." I know, Drew. Libraries are very daunting. First you have to find the books, and then you have to read them.

But recent celebrity endorsements were topped off by Moby's genius idea for how John Kerry can win the general election in November.

You target [Bush's] natural constituencies. For example, you can go on all the pro-life chat rooms and say you're an outraged right-wing voter and that you know that George Bush drove an ex-girlfriend to an abortion clinic and paid for her to get an abortion. Then you go to an anti-immigration Web site chat room and ask, 'What's all this about George Bush proposing amnesty for illegal aliens?'

Perfect. Then you, like, send letter bombs full of shards of glass and Ricin to, I don't know, say Billy Graham and include a note that says "Hugs and Kisses, Dubya". Not only will Billy Graham and the entire Christian Coalition think that Bush is trying to mail bomb them, but since you signed the card "Dubya" they'll never suspect a Kerry supporter of being the true source. Excellent suggestion. Keep up the good work, Moby.

After winning Oklahoma by a scant 1,275 votes, General Wesley Clark said "Oklahoma is O.K. by me!"

We have some slogans for the other candidates:

John Kerry - "Delaware is DE-Lightful!"
John Edwards - "South Carolina is Souper Douper!"
Howard Dean - "Misourri can Bite Me!"

Wait, that wasn't nice. But it's perfect for Dean.

Primary Results [CNN]

Ever wonder about the third Bush brother? We always hear about Jeb being the Governor of Florida, but what is that Neil Bush up to? It seems that Neil is in a rather messy divorce and his wife is asking for a paternity test to determine whether he had a child with another woman. Oh, and the other woman? She also happens to be married, and her husband believes that he is the child's father.

Coke, DUI, tampering with elections, and bastard children. Damn, those Bush boys are classy.

New York Post

I've managed to put together some photos from my campaign trip to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Now my loyal readers (all 3 of you) can see the Democratic Primary from the front lines.



Kerry, Clark, and Kucinich supporters gaining support for their candidates in the Portsmouth center.




Kerry and Dean supporters vying for prime sidewalk space in Portsmouth Center.




This Kucinich supporter from Ohio traveled all the way from Iowa to campaign in Portsmouth. There were several Kucinich supporters walking around the town center wearing similar sandwich boards. They were out all day long (and it was very cold).




A loyal Kerry supporter who was well prepared for the weather.

I will have more photos from New Hampshire soon.

Related Post: New Hampshire Highlights

All votes have been cast for Dixville Notch, NH, where residents typically cast their primary votes just after midnight. Here are the results:

Democratic Primary
Total number of voters: 15
Clark : 8 votes
Kerry : 3 votes
Edwards: 2 votes
Dean: 1 vote
Lieberman:1 vote

Republican Primary
Total number of voters:11
George Bush: 11 votes

Clark wins Dixville Notch by a landslide [CNN]

Boston Globe/WBZ-TV N.H. Democratic primary Poll
(Sample size = 400 , +/-5%)
1/27/03

Kerry 37
Dean 20
Edwards 12
Clark 8
Lieberman 7
Kucinich<1
Sharpton<1
Undecided 16

Analysis using error: Dean is 7 points behind Kerry. Dean and Edwards are in a dead heat. Edwards, Clark and Lieberman are in a dead heat.

MSNBC/Reuters Zogby Poll — New Hampshire
(Sample Size = 684, +/- 3.8%)
1/25/04-1/26/04

Kerry 34
Dean 22
Edwards 10
Lieberman 9
Clark 7
Kucinich 2
Sharpton .4
Someone else 2
Not sure 12

Analysis using error: Dean is 4.4 points behind Kerry. Edwards is 4.4 points behind Dean. Edwards, Lieberman and Clark are in a dead heat.

USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup N.H. tracking poll
(Sample Size = 970, +/- 4%)
1/24/04-1/25/04

Kerry 36
Dean 25
Clark 13
Lieberman 10
Edwards 10
Kucinich 1
Sharpton 1
None/other/no opinion 4

Analysis using error: Dean is 3 points behind Kerry. Clark is 4 points behind Dean. Clark, Lieberman and Edwards are all in a dead heat.

Boston Herald Poll
(Sample Size = 501, +/- 4.4%)
1/20/04-1/21/04

Kerry 31
Dean 21
Clark 16
Edwards 11
Lieberman 4

Analysis using error: Dean is 1.2 points behind Kerry. Dean and Clark are in a dead heat. Clark and Edwards are in a dead heat. Edwards and Lieberman are in a dead heat.

Final Analysis: Kucinich and Sharpton are losing. Otherwise, who knows?

Those Brits don't mince words:
"[General Clark] faces charges of carpetbagging from the candidates who have been in the party longer than he has - ie since before they decided to run for president."

Ouch. Next thing you know the Guardian's going to be talking smack about Clark's argyle sweaters.

The Guardian

Standard Deviance went to Portsmouth, New Hampshire this weekend to campaign for John Kerry. Here are some of the highlights:
- Saturday's Weather: Temp 9 degrees Fahrenheit, Windchill -10 degrees Fahrenheit.
-While standing in Portsmouth center holding signs, Kerry, Dean, Clark, and Kucinich volunteers all get along famously. However Edwards and Lieberman volunteers are nowhere to be found in Portsmouth.
-Kucinich headquarters in Portsmouth displays a very large sign that says "Office Space for Lease".
-Kerry and Dean volunteers (including yours truly) may appear briefly in a MTV News Choose or Lose special to air on February 2nd.
-After canvassing for 2 hours (roughly 20 homes) only 4 people answer the door and most refuse to say who they're voting for or whether they're voting at all.
-Kerry Portsmouth headquarters is heated entirely by spaceheaters and thus very very cold.
-Bathroom at said headquarters is unusable as pipes are frozen. Kerry staffers and volunteers walk down the street to the Mobile gas station to use the bathroom.
-Note to self: Never, ever leave New York City again without a car, especially when getting frostbite is a real possibility.

The animal inside comes out. It's amazing what you can do with some ingenuity and a little bit of Photoshop.

Also check out some funky Dean music at Barlow Farms.

More Dean Wolf